Sep 18, 2023

Sometimes I Don't Love My Child

Sophie Allen
Sophie Allen
Sometimes I Don't Love My Child

Part of the Babbu Series: Breaking Down Parenting Taboos

Parenting is a challenging and rewarding experience, but it's also one that can be full of ups and downs. There are times when you can feel incredibly loving and connected to your children, and there are other times when you can feel frustrated, angry, or even resentful.

It's perfectly normal to have these feelings, but it's important to remember that they don't mean that you don't love your little one. Love is a complex emotion, and it's not always easy to feel it all the time.

There are many reasons why you might feel like you don't love your little one at times. Maybe you’re feeling overwhelmed by the demands of parenting. Maybe you’re struggling with our own mental health or post-natal depression. You had a difficult/traumatic birth, are time-poor and struggling to bond with your baby. Or maybe your little one is behaving in a way that is particularly challenging or difficult.

Whatever the reason, it's important to be patient with ourselves and to remember that these feelings are temporary. They don't mean that we're bad parents or that we don’t or will never love our children.

If you’re struggling with these feelings, it's important to reach out for help. Talk to a friend, family member, midwife, therapist, counsellor, or other trusted healthcare professional. They can help you to understand your feelings and to develop coping mechanisms for dealing with them, and advice on how to improve your parent/child bond.

It's also important to remember that you are not alone. Many parents experience these feelings at some point or another. Talking to other parents who have been through it can be helpful and reassuring, so keep an eye out for support groups, or parenting forums too.

Here are some tips for dealing with the feeling of not loving your child:

  • Allow yourself to feel your feelings. Don't try to bottle them up or deny them.

  • Talk to someone you trust about how you're feeling. This could be a therapist, counsellor, friend, or family member.

  • Focus on the positive aspects of your child. Think about the things you love about them and the ways they make you laugh.

  • Be patient with yourself. It takes time to process and heal from these feelings.

  • Remember that you're not alone. Many parents experience these feelings at some point.

Babbu encourages anyone who looks after a little one to join ‘Your Virtual Village’. In this group, you can ask any questions related to the child in your care. Whether it's about their development, a tricky tantrum or you just need to let off steam, this is the place to find a supportive network of parents and experts alike.


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